"These are my Confessions" I smell my food before I eat it I am obsessed with the number 3 I sneak online at work I thought white people glowed in the dark I swim like a boulder If I wear long socks, I don't lotion my ankles Whew!!! That was hard! Now I'd like to tag 6 of you... Beauti @ B.I.O. Bianca @ Bianca Speaks Yolanda @ L.O.L My Mama @ What a Wonderful Blessed Life We Have ChelleCakes @ Heaven Only Knows Traycee @ K.I.S.S
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Well, Lisa @ Serah's Soap Blog tagged me for the 6 Interesting things game. She posted 6 interesting things about herself in her blog, then chose me as one of the lucky 6 to pass the game along to. Remember now, I'm a bored nappy, so just bear with me....
Monday, October 27, 2008
I'm sure you guys have heard the new track by Jazmine Sullivan "Bust Your Windows". I think she has a gorgeous voice. I can vibe to the song & it gets me all hype first thing in the morning when I'm on my way to work. This song does make me think though. How pissed do you have to be to go and actually write your name in paint, bust holes in glass & slash tires? I've been through hell and back so many times before, but I could never stoop to this level! I've thought about doing some mean stuff, then I'd call my homegirl and we'd talk about it & play out the plan over the phone, then I'm finished. I have been known to hold a grudge, but I seriously believe in karma. See I've never really been able to be that "Bad Girl" because it always bites me in the butt. Take for instance when I tried to get wit that infamous "Tenda Thug", he whooped my ass. Um, well, I learned my lesson from that. I tried to steal, well I didn't get caught, but so many bad things happened afterwards, I figured that was payback. Ladies, let's not be ghetto, ignant, juvenile & crap. It ain't worth it! Just ignore 'em. Pop ya collar and throw your nose in the air! Gone bout yo business... He just ain't worth prison time. I don't know about you, but I'm just too damn cute to be Big Bertha's B**ch!
Monday, October 20, 2008
I have definitely had an angel in my corner all day long. She's been on my shoulder, laying across my back and assisting me in binding my tongue in the name of Jesus! Well y'all, today was my first non-smoking day and sadly I smoked. I smoked 3 cigarettes in all, and I'm not discouraged. If I am blessed with a tomorrow, then tomorrow will be my clean slate. And I wanted to personally say Thank You Sooooo Much for being my cheerleader Bianca. It means a lot and I greatly appreciate you! Anyway, this is the thing, my boss is on vacation so someone from our sales office is taking his place for the week. Why you ask? I'll tell you why. It's because I can do the damn job with my eyes closed & my hands tied behind my back, but I'm not allowed to touch the money. Well, I ain't trippin too bad b/c I'm the only Black woman there, so this does keep my name out of a lot of crap, but still. It's the principle of the whole thing! Anywho, I'm working with someone else who is absolutely NO help at all, so I'm doing 1000% extra and answering all the calls that come in & first this extremely ignorant troll proceeds to tell me that she didn't realize that she was speaking with me on the phone the other day because I sound so WHITE. She said because I sounded so professional, she just had no idea that I was black, so I stifled my curse words & sat on my fists & said Thank you and have a blessed day. Then when she left I flipped the bird at her account. Okay, I really didn't feel much better, but I got that pressure off I suppose. Then I had a wonderfully satanic customer to call for a payoff. I proceed to give her this information in my very professional WHITE voice and I say Ma'am, I'm showing your account 19 days past due & you only have a 10 day grace period. I would like to find out when you'll be able to make your next payment. She begins screaming, then told me I was a N***er! WELL, I was just flabbergasted. I wanted to act juvenile and say, YO MAMA! But I didn't. I told her that a N***er is a person of ignorance, she's judging me without knowing anything about me which would make her the N***er. I don't think she was pleased because she said she was gonna come & put the powwow on me. I told her okay, I'm the only black woman in the office & I gave her the address and added that I hope she has a wonderfully blessed day. Anyway, that's still no excuse for the smoking thang. And what's so bad (or good since I'm trying to stop) is the fact that I can't taste the cigarettes anymore anyway. It's just a matter of habit. I am definitely trying to break the habit of smoking at certain times like when I'm breathing or when I'm awake or u know, times like that.
What do u think, am I weird or something or other? I go visit my mama from time to time on the weekends in my hometown. I rarely, if ever, leave her house, but this weekend I had to make a run to town. I don't ever go visit family or for that matter, anyone, but her. I saw a couple of people that I haven't seen in years, since high school ('95 --- GOOOO YELLOWJACKETS!). The first place their eyes make a landing at is on my head. I mean, folks couldn't even look me in my eyes or at my feet, they looked me straight in my hair. And yeah, I know, my hair has gotten pretty big and I had it out that day. I thought it was wonderful! I look totally different from the high school Sonya. My hair then was permed to death, cut really short & teeny tiny curls all over. Now it's NAPPY! OMG, this makes some folks nerves bad. I had someone to say, "Sonya I didn't know you started your dreds!?" I told her I didn't. Then she said, "Well what's that in your head? Are those twists!?" I said no, it's my hair. The whole time she's asking these questions, her nose is tooted up in the air as if she's disapproving of me. This same person, looking like a big Peterbilt Truck from behind, asked at the beginning of my journey if I was gonna just start looking dirty like all the natural people she's seen on tv? I don't understand small minds like hers. I started thinking about all the nappyheads I know from my hometown. I saw none. I know of three people that have gone nappy and moved, but none that these people can see day in & day out. Soooo, that does make me an oddity I suppose. Or does that make me unique? Because fried, dyed, & laid to the side is the majority and considered "normal" does this make me abnormal? O well. HI HATAS!
Chorus from India Arie's I Am Not My Hair I am not my hair I am not this skin I am not your expectations no I am not my hair I am not this skin I am a soul that lives within
Monday, October 13, 2008
This is the way I looked before. I was NOT happy with any part of my life. I walked around smiling, laughing, but sort of in a fog. I was going through the motions. I never felt like I was actually being myself. I started a journey years before, but I was always big on what "other people" said, so I always gave in. On August 21, 2007, I went natural. When I walked out of the salon, I held my head high and I cried and I thanked the Lord because I felt free! That was one of the best days of my life! I have totally embraced this natural journey this time around. I feel like this is my forever thing. A woman's hair is her glory. We all know that you can be dressed all Model-esque & if you can't get that hair just right, it'll screw with your whole day. My hair, My Glory, (Polly as you Fotkians know her), my first year of nappiness, was my 12 step program to acceptance. I don't look in the mirror any longer and say, "Ugh, I hate myself, I'm ugly, I hate my hair, I'm nothing." I now think the total opposite. I am beautiful, by MY standards. I love myself, all my curves, my legs just go on and on. Lol, I enjoy ME now. I LOVE MY HAIR! If you accept God as your savior and you know that we all are made in his own image, then how can you be ashamed of the napps, kinks, coils, curls, waves that he blessed you with. I am a reflection of HIM. He created this lovely, full, healthy head of hair and I appreciate him for it. Since going natural, I have started to be more mindful of what I put into my body and on my body. I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be, but I'm more accepting of my flaws. That's what sets me aside and makes me different from everyone else. I know that not a lot of you know, but I am a smoker. I also have asthma and type 2 diabetes. I've begun to takes the steps to quit. This is a part of my journey, my healing process. My body is my temple and I was only blessed with one. I've tried so many times before and failed and I need you as my cheerleaders to keep me on the right track.
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.
Don't you just love the bliss? That's called acceptance!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Ok, so my day started off rather crappy. I woke up running. Gotta get the grown boy up, gotta get the baby boy up, gotta get dressed & ready for work. OMG, we made it on time. Praise your name! I walked into the office & all hell breaks loose! The phones were ringing every whichaway (yeah, it's a new word becuz i said so!) and everyone is calling in to speak with me. What makes me so important you ask? I'm the one who put the car out for repo. Whyyouainttellmeyouweregonnaputthecaroutforrepo? My mama died, my daddy's in the hospital, the children have to get braces and you act like i have to pay the car note every month! Um, well, okay. See ma'am, you are currently $1,000, 012 behind and you haven't paid a note since Papa Smurf started pimpin Smurfette and I've tried to defer payments & set up arrangements, but the last time you said you had to get your nails done and your hurr done so u couldn't come in. I figured it was time. I have been threatened, cursed, hung up on and annoyed. Horrible day, until I saw the United Blood Services van. I left all the hell of the office & spent 30 minutes doing something for someone else. That was the best thing I could have done. I got peace of mind for those 30 minutes. They cared enough to ask me how I was feeling & to say thank you. I walked out with a smile on my face & snacks! I was on top of the world. When I walked in, the same cursing customer was in the office & I smiled at her. I told her maybe we got off on the wrong foot and we talked. We were calm and adult like. I really started thinking that if before I ever utter a word or take one step, after I pray, if I smile really really hard until my cheeks burn, I might just be able to brighten someone else's day. You try it with me & let me know what's up.
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Sunday, October 5, 2008
My blogging cherry was just popped. It feels kinda funny. This isn't quite how I expected it to be. It's really too late for me to be awake, but too early for me to go to sleep. I'm a mother to a young fella & a girlfriend to an older than young fella. When they close their eyes, that's my time to do me. Each & every night. Maybe I can scream to wake 'em? Nah... That might make their nerves bad. Should I stomp up and down the stairs bellowing profanities? That won't work either. I don't feel like going up the stairs. Bear with me, I'm still trying to figure this thing out.