Friday, November 21, 2008

I Got Swagger... YAAAAAY!

From the Urban Dictionary, the definition of swagger is how one presents him or her self to the world. Swagger is shown from how a person handles a situation. It can also be shown in the person's walk. Well, I just had to share with y'all, I got that swagger. Don't hate. I didn't know it either. Okay, this anorexic, gold-tooth wearin', gravel throat soundin', porta potty mouth smellin', boogerwolf told me that today. I'm dressed in my Pillsbury Doughboy t-shirt with jeans & sneakers with my scarf & long brown sweater jacket and I have the awesomest puff that has ever been created this side of the Mississippi and dude just walks into my office & stops... and stares... then smiles... He looked me all up & down & side to side & crap and said you just got that Jill Scott Swagga. Ummm yeah, ok. I told him my name is Sonya. He said, but you just got that whole organic thang goin' on. Then he proceeds to lick his lips. UGH! All the while, my boss is sitting in his office laughing so hard he's blood red in the face & his forehead vein was poppin out. He's slobbering because he's trying to hold his laugh in and he WOULD NOT HELP ME! This little itty bitty Mini Mack is telling me, gul you just got that right kind of fat. You got that thick fat, not that nasty fat. He said, gul you just big in all the right places. I'm just stunned, shocked & flabbergasted all at the same time. This lil ugly mutha*!@##$ just called me fat! So I smile and I lie & tell him I'm playin for the other team. Y'all he just looked let down. He told me he could change me. I told him my partner and I would be getting married soon and he was invited. He said aight, whateva and left. WHEW!!! That kinda crap makes me want to leave early & go bathe! The question of the day is "Do you got dat Swagga?"

8 comments:

  1. Girl, everywhere you go now you are mackin'! LOL. I had a similar experience a couple weeks ago: a hard core thug(I had never seen him before in my life) ruffled up my puff! All while he was making a gross excited noise! I wanted to BC!
    There is something about natural hair girl!

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  2. LMAO!!!! you and creative lady....a trip!!!

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  3. LMAO!! Ewww I don't want swagger, then! :)

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  4. I got swagger. But it the kinda swagger that makes men twenty years my senior hit on me.

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  5. This is funny, but natural swagger is the truth!

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  6. And who said thick and natural beautiful don't go together. I found the incident hilarious, but that just goes to show you people are tired of the media dictating what is and isn't beautiful

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  7. GIRl!!! This is hilarious. ROTFLMAO!!!!! I want some of that swagga...but I want someone who's, ummm...swagga-worthy to notice. LOL!

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  8. OMG! That's too funny! You described him in such a way that I could actually imagine what he must have looked like! YUK!!!!! LMAO!!!! WORK THAT SWAGGA GURL!!!

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