Friday, November 21, 2008
From the Urban Dictionary, the definition of swagger is how one presents him or her self to the world. Swagger is shown from how a person handles a situation. It can also be shown in the person's walk. Well, I just had to share with y'all, I got that swagger. Don't hate. I didn't know it either. Okay, this anorexic, gold-tooth wearin', gravel throat soundin', porta potty mouth smellin', boogerwolf told me that today. I'm dressed in my Pillsbury Doughboy t-shirt with jeans & sneakers with my scarf & long brown sweater jacket and I have the awesomest puff that has ever been created this side of the Mississippi and dude just walks into my office & stops... and stares... then smiles... He looked me all up & down & side to side & crap and said you just got that Jill Scott Swagga. Ummm yeah, ok. I told him my name is Sonya. He said, but you just got that whole organic thang goin' on. Then he proceeds to lick his lips. UGH! All the while, my boss is sitting in his office laughing so hard he's blood red in the face & his forehead vein was poppin out. He's slobbering because he's trying to hold his laugh in and he WOULD NOT HELP ME! This little itty bitty Mini Mack is telling me, gul you just got that right kind of fat. You got that thick fat, not that nasty fat. He said, gul you just big in all the right places. I'm just stunned, shocked & flabbergasted all at the same time. This lil ugly mutha*!@##$ just called me fat! So I smile and I lie & tell him I'm playin for the other team. Y'all he just looked let down. He told me he could change me. I told him my partner and I would be getting married soon and he was invited. He said aight, whateva and left. WHEW!!! That kinda crap makes me want to leave early & go bathe! The question of the day is "Do you got dat Swagga?"
Nappy Rants & Raves by Sonya