Thursday, November 13, 2008

Hey Hey Hey

This evening, after me & J's hard day at work & D's long trying school day, we decided to go to a lovely dinner at the Chinese Restaurant across town. We've fixed our plates, sat down at the table & said our grace, then Fat Albert's big brother & daddy came into the restaurant. Before you get all politically correct on me, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST FAT PEOPLE. I recognize that I'm one of them and by law, Section 123.Nappy.XYZ, Code Rotund, I have ample ability, reason & opportunity to point them out as I see them. Anyway, both of them seemed to take an interest in me. Ugh. They looked nasty like they reeked of putrid sewer. They had such awful table manners... Just disgusting. They walked past us and I heard a very loud fart eek it's way out of the son's back crack cushions, then he turned to look at me and smiled. Um, yeah, ok, that really got me all tingly inside. Then dapper daddy decides to wink my way after every greasy fried chicken bite. I was trying so hard to be nice & polite. I told J, maybe they're just lookin at my hair... It was rather fly if I do say so myself. My fro was so big & curly. My head looked a lot like a microphone top to me. After what seemed like an eternity, they get up to leave, the whole while they're lookin at me like they wanted to douse me in gravy. They made me feel so dirty tonight. I'm gonna shower with lye. Ugh. Nice night to ya!

4 comments:

  1. Ewwwwwwwwww!!! Girl, I would have had to bounce! I am easily grossed out when it comes to my food. But I remember a man once who was eating and burping at the same time. Talk about gross! I wanted to say "Dude, slow down and do one or the other!"

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  2. now that just sound like a hot mess.... I would've been offended too! farting and going on...... then daddy had the nerve to wink!? .... Puh-lease!

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  3. Girl I'm laying on my couch dying laughing!!! But I know exactly how you feel! You are too hilarious....they wanted you to feel on their love muffins!!! Didn't you feel the love, girl?! You was missin out....lmao!

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  4. UKKA-BUKKA! What a way to have your dinner ruined. I'm mad they really thought they were: a)sexy, b)charming, and/or c)attractive, when they weren't but gag-reflex-inducing. You're good because they would've got the seriously stank gas face and not one more look in their direction!

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